It is doubtful I will ever have the money for a chauffeur and the only time I have used chauffeur hire in my life was a leaving dinner in my school days. Unfortunately the glamour of that moment in my life was somewhat marred by the awful Hawaiian shirt I chose to wear on that fateful night. That said, after scouring the internet the other day I found this joke that could possible help to diminish the negative effects of my chauffeur hire experience and that shirt.
The joke goes thusly:
The Pope lands on a state visit and his chauffeur hire company have sent a somewhat inexperienced chauffeur to look after his holiness. The chauffeur loads all of the Pope’s bags into the back of the limo and then is bemused to find the Pope standing by the roadside rather than in the limo where he is supposed to be.
The Chauffeur sparks up the courage to ask “Excuse me your holiness but could you please enter the vehicle so we can get going?” The Pope then resolutely answers the chauffeur “no, I wish to drive as I never have the chance to do so at the Vatican.”The chauffeur is naturally confused, he doesn’t want to lose his job but sees no way out of it, after all who can say no to the Pope?
So the Pontiff jumps behind the wheel and leaves the airport, gets on the motorway and puts the pedal to the metal. 100 miles an hour comes up quickly and despite the chauffeur’s protestations the Pope is happy bombing along weaving in and out of the traffic.
Understandably the site of a limo going at 100 miles per hour plus attracts the attention of a local policeman. On go the sirens and soon the PC has pulled over the Pontiff at the side of the road.
The policeman then walks to the driver’s window and his mouth falls to the floor. Naturally the policeman feels his authority doesn’t quite go this far and gets on the radio to the Chief.
Explaining the situation the PC says “Chief I have just pulled over a limo doing 100 mph or more”, the Chief responds with “well you’ve got to book him”. At that, the policeman reconsiders his position, he retorts to the Chief, “I don’t think I can Chief this guy is big, like really big!” The chief sees this as even better and implores the PC to book this maniacal driver.
After arguing for while however the chief asks “Well how big is he, is it a celebrity?” The PC replies “bigger”,
“Is it the Prime Minister?”
The Chief getting a bit annoyed now asks ” Well who could be bigger than the Prime Minister?”
The PC responds, “God”
The Chief’s fury at this point is about to boil over as he asks “What in the hell makes you think that you’ve pulled over God for speeding?”
The PC calmly replies “Well he’s got the Pope as his Chauffeur!”